Ok, *sigh* I initially said that I was going to devote this blog to 'Just Me' but sadly, thats waaaay too hard for this time in my life right now. SO, I am going to change it to best represent how life really is for me right now. This is something I am actually excited about. I will be able to better document some of the super cute stories involving my amazing son and soon to be daughter :) Because, Atlas and Arden are a part of me, a part of my life right now and I am loving this time. Granted, I am still exhausted and can tell by looking in the mirror how much I have aged, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. This will be a good place to write all my Atlas and Arden stories. So my facebook friends don't get bombarded with Atlas posts. ;)
Well, its almost naptime, a cherished part of my day. One that I am going to enjoy while I still can. Talk to you soon!
~T
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, July 23, 2010
Colorado!
As I write this I am breathing a HUGE sigh of satisfaction. I had the most wonderful, fulfilling time in Colorado. I was there to help celebrate one of my best friends, Emily, wedding. It was so wonderful to see the wide open spaces, the splendid Rockie Mountains and while the altitude change kicked my butt this time, it didn't deter from the beauty that the mountains had to offer. Navigating through the Denver Airport is not my favorite thing. The thing is HUGE and I forgot about the trains you have to take to get to different terminals. Although, I must admit it brought back fun memories of riding those trains when I was younger with Emily while her mom waited on my flight. We were never gone too long and I always made my flights. ;)
It is a funny thing being reunited with a childhood friend. You feel liberated almost, like you've been given the green light to go ahead and be silly, goofy little girls again. When you have known someone for over 25 years, there are not many secrets between the two of you. And the ease at which the time spent together is one to admire. That kind of freedom in friendship is so wonderfully treasured. How a glance at one another and a memory comes flooding back and before you know it the two of you are dying laughing! There is a comfort in that, a sisterhood of sorts. I miss living so close to her. She is like family. :)
I had such a blast at the Bachelorette party, I was worried b/c it was to start right after my flight got in and I wasn't sure I was going to like the other bridesmaids. But I loved them, they made me feel so at home. One I had met when I came out there to visit Emily when we were in High School and again after graduation from Beauty School. So it was good to see her again. The night started out with a small party in the hotel room. Heather, a bridesmaid, was able to get her hands on a lot of beautiful silver jewelry that was going to get pitched. All still with tags! So we saved them and had a free for all, first come first serve. We all got glamed up and hit the town! We had dinner on a rooftop restaurant overlooking the Denver skyline, then went to an improv comedy club. I can't remember the name! THEN went in search of some dancing!!! I absolutely LOVE to dance and as soon as we heard that bass we were instantly at the door ready to go in! We had so much fun inside. It was a techno club, the best downtown Denver could do as far as dance clubs are concerned. Was a little hard to dance to but we quickly got the hang of it! Then there was no stopping us! Well except to get some water and fresh air! After that, I am ashamed to say that the 8 block walk back to the hotel through downtown I made w/o my shoes. My feet were in agony! Thats what cheap, but cute, Target shoes will do to you. When we got back to the room my feet were black and I washed them right away and crashed into bed. I had been up for almost 24 hours at this point. I had needed a night out BAD and partied hard. And I slept hard.
The next day we went to Colorado Springs, where I took about a 2-3 hour nap. And was still tired. The pace at Emily's apartment was awesome. Sleep and watch movies. With an occasional errand. It was awesome. I caught up on SO much lost sleep. About 2 years and 4 months lost sleep ;). I treasure that time. It felt so familiar to just be lounging watching movies with Emily. We used to do that all the time when we were younger. Then after about 3 days like that, we headed back to Denver for the wedding festivities to begin!
The wedding was beautiful, I was surprised to say, coming from FL, that the weather was hot! Less humidity which was nice, but it was hot! Her colors were sky blue and eggplant. Very beautiful. The ceremony went great, I was of course, escorted by a 6' 10" giant. Who was very nice I might add. But we looked ridiculous! It is funny to see us in pictures now. The reception was fun, I was really nervous before giving my toast, but it went very well, and I even had some cheering and clapping during it. THEN, and I am not sure if I should put this on here or not, but after my speech I gave Emily a hug then, Timothy, Emily's new husband, leaned over to give me a hug and as I was leaning in to his hug, by boob popped out of my strapless bridesmaid dress! I recovered quickly and I think only one couple at the first table noticed. And they left pretty quickly after the dinner so no harm no foul. I won't ever see them again. So then came more dancing! It was so much fun and felt so good to be able to get out there and just let go and get more of that pent up energy out! Dancing is very therapeutic to me. So it was very fun, then like all good things it was time to go back to the room so I could get at least some sleep before my flight back to reality.
Getting back was bittersweet, I was glad to get back to my baby, but I found myself in quite a funk. Getting to taste that freedom of just being me was amazing and I was sad to leave it. I know that getting to lay around all day watching movies with your best friend is not reality, but I was sad and depressed nonetheless. All the things that bug me about living in FL were just more apparent like the lack of healthy eating options. I know Colorado is ranked the #1 healthiest state and it was so refreshing to see hardly any fast food restaurants. I loved getting to eat at some of my fav. deli places like Jimmy Johns and Einstein Bros Bagels. I only really saw one McDonalds and was happy about that. I loved the beauty of the rolling hills, of being able to actually see around you. FL is so flat. Now, I love the beach and all the sunshine, but I am a mid-west girl at heart. I loved watching all the active people. There was constantly a stream of runners, joggers, hikers and moms running with strollers. I love how the weather was nice enough to do that mid-day, and the lack of humidity was awesome! I would love to live there someday.
Well, now that I have been back for a week I am remembering how much I love my life here. Andy and I love our jobs, our friends are AMAZING and our church is wonderful. If I could move our jobs, church and friends there I would. But, I still like the convenience of the beach being so close and Jacksonville is growing on me. So all in all it was a very nice vacation. One I will treasure forever!
~Tracey
I am going to attempt to upload some pics from the Bachelorette Party! I don't think it worked :(
It is a funny thing being reunited with a childhood friend. You feel liberated almost, like you've been given the green light to go ahead and be silly, goofy little girls again. When you have known someone for over 25 years, there are not many secrets between the two of you. And the ease at which the time spent together is one to admire. That kind of freedom in friendship is so wonderfully treasured. How a glance at one another and a memory comes flooding back and before you know it the two of you are dying laughing! There is a comfort in that, a sisterhood of sorts. I miss living so close to her. She is like family. :)
I had such a blast at the Bachelorette party, I was worried b/c it was to start right after my flight got in and I wasn't sure I was going to like the other bridesmaids. But I loved them, they made me feel so at home. One I had met when I came out there to visit Emily when we were in High School and again after graduation from Beauty School. So it was good to see her again. The night started out with a small party in the hotel room. Heather, a bridesmaid, was able to get her hands on a lot of beautiful silver jewelry that was going to get pitched. All still with tags! So we saved them and had a free for all, first come first serve. We all got glamed up and hit the town! We had dinner on a rooftop restaurant overlooking the Denver skyline, then went to an improv comedy club. I can't remember the name! THEN went in search of some dancing!!! I absolutely LOVE to dance and as soon as we heard that bass we were instantly at the door ready to go in! We had so much fun inside. It was a techno club, the best downtown Denver could do as far as dance clubs are concerned. Was a little hard to dance to but we quickly got the hang of it! Then there was no stopping us! Well except to get some water and fresh air! After that, I am ashamed to say that the 8 block walk back to the hotel through downtown I made w/o my shoes. My feet were in agony! Thats what cheap, but cute, Target shoes will do to you. When we got back to the room my feet were black and I washed them right away and crashed into bed. I had been up for almost 24 hours at this point. I had needed a night out BAD and partied hard. And I slept hard.
The next day we went to Colorado Springs, where I took about a 2-3 hour nap. And was still tired. The pace at Emily's apartment was awesome. Sleep and watch movies. With an occasional errand. It was awesome. I caught up on SO much lost sleep. About 2 years and 4 months lost sleep ;). I treasure that time. It felt so familiar to just be lounging watching movies with Emily. We used to do that all the time when we were younger. Then after about 3 days like that, we headed back to Denver for the wedding festivities to begin!
The wedding was beautiful, I was surprised to say, coming from FL, that the weather was hot! Less humidity which was nice, but it was hot! Her colors were sky blue and eggplant. Very beautiful. The ceremony went great, I was of course, escorted by a 6' 10" giant. Who was very nice I might add. But we looked ridiculous! It is funny to see us in pictures now. The reception was fun, I was really nervous before giving my toast, but it went very well, and I even had some cheering and clapping during it. THEN, and I am not sure if I should put this on here or not, but after my speech I gave Emily a hug then, Timothy, Emily's new husband, leaned over to give me a hug and as I was leaning in to his hug, by boob popped out of my strapless bridesmaid dress! I recovered quickly and I think only one couple at the first table noticed. And they left pretty quickly after the dinner so no harm no foul. I won't ever see them again. So then came more dancing! It was so much fun and felt so good to be able to get out there and just let go and get more of that pent up energy out! Dancing is very therapeutic to me. So it was very fun, then like all good things it was time to go back to the room so I could get at least some sleep before my flight back to reality.
Getting back was bittersweet, I was glad to get back to my baby, but I found myself in quite a funk. Getting to taste that freedom of just being me was amazing and I was sad to leave it. I know that getting to lay around all day watching movies with your best friend is not reality, but I was sad and depressed nonetheless. All the things that bug me about living in FL were just more apparent like the lack of healthy eating options. I know Colorado is ranked the #1 healthiest state and it was so refreshing to see hardly any fast food restaurants. I loved getting to eat at some of my fav. deli places like Jimmy Johns and Einstein Bros Bagels. I only really saw one McDonalds and was happy about that. I loved the beauty of the rolling hills, of being able to actually see around you. FL is so flat. Now, I love the beach and all the sunshine, but I am a mid-west girl at heart. I loved watching all the active people. There was constantly a stream of runners, joggers, hikers and moms running with strollers. I love how the weather was nice enough to do that mid-day, and the lack of humidity was awesome! I would love to live there someday.
Well, now that I have been back for a week I am remembering how much I love my life here. Andy and I love our jobs, our friends are AMAZING and our church is wonderful. If I could move our jobs, church and friends there I would. But, I still like the convenience of the beach being so close and Jacksonville is growing on me. So all in all it was a very nice vacation. One I will treasure forever!
~Tracey
I am going to attempt to upload some pics from the Bachelorette Party! I don't think it worked :(
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Decisions...
Ok, so its no secret that I am needing some change in my life. I have two friends in particular who are really out there living and following their dreams! I am excited for them and can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. They are friends who you would share your life dreams with. And now to see them out there living them, is awesome and depressing all at the same time. One of them has children, the other doesn't. I envy their opportunities, granted they both have worked hard to get to where they are. I feel like my life is on hold for the time being. Especially since we want to have another child. I feel like a horse at the starting gate, about to run free and feel the breeze in my hair when they call off the race. Your okay with having more time and the reason the race has been called off is awesome, it just takes some adjusting to a new race schedule. I hope that made some sort of sense!
I really admire Andy right now because he set up some life goals a LONG time ago and is now starting to seriously plan them. One is to run a marathon and the other is to climb Mt. Kilamanjaro (sp?) in Africa. He is going to run the marathon on Feb, and is scheduling the climb for 2012. He asked me what my life goals were and I drew a blank. I had things professionally that I wanted to do, but I couldn't think of anything more specific to a personal goal. So I started thinking. I have always wanted to write a book. I am constantly thinking of possible story lines or how I would decorate the album cover, ect. Now, this is a goal that will have to wait till after the second child and Atlas are in school. I don't have the time or the mental clear mindedness to write while I have young children. Being so sleep deprived for so long makes you hardly able to remember your name! Let alone write a book! Once again, feeling like I am at the starting gate about to charge and put on hold again. So, I have decided to set some more short term goals that are less time consuming...ok, so I just decided that now and don't have any yet to report, but when I do, I will post them!
Well, I heard the "ALL DONE!!!" scream from Atlas, so I better jump off here. :) Shower time since we just got back from the pool!
See ya on the flip side!
I really admire Andy right now because he set up some life goals a LONG time ago and is now starting to seriously plan them. One is to run a marathon and the other is to climb Mt. Kilamanjaro (sp?) in Africa. He is going to run the marathon on Feb, and is scheduling the climb for 2012. He asked me what my life goals were and I drew a blank. I had things professionally that I wanted to do, but I couldn't think of anything more specific to a personal goal. So I started thinking. I have always wanted to write a book. I am constantly thinking of possible story lines or how I would decorate the album cover, ect. Now, this is a goal that will have to wait till after the second child and Atlas are in school. I don't have the time or the mental clear mindedness to write while I have young children. Being so sleep deprived for so long makes you hardly able to remember your name! Let alone write a book! Once again, feeling like I am at the starting gate about to charge and put on hold again. So, I have decided to set some more short term goals that are less time consuming...ok, so I just decided that now and don't have any yet to report, but when I do, I will post them!
Well, I heard the "ALL DONE!!!" scream from Atlas, so I better jump off here. :) Shower time since we just got back from the pool!
See ya on the flip side!
Monday, June 14, 2010
No Reason :)
So, I have a few stolen moments. Atlas is watching a movie, Andy is still sleeping. Atlas and I just came in from a bike ride. Sounded like a good idea at the time until I realized that it was 900 degrees out there! Came back drenched in sweat and in need of water! But all better now.
I am really looking forward to my trip to Colorado next month. Not only do I get to help one of my dearest longtime best friends get married, I get a vacation!!! One packed with wedding hysteria! But a vacation from the mundane all the same. I am looking forward to some time in a hotel, with roomies of course, but still! And getting to see my second family! I haven't seem many of them for going on 9 years! One of the things I miss is being able to pick up and go anytime I want without wondering about eating schedules, nap time and bedtime. It will be nice to have that freedom. SO thankful for Tiffany Powell who will be watching Atlas the week I am gone. It makes this trip much more enjoyable knowing that someone who I TRUST is watching him. I know he is in good hands. :) I have a feeling I will be in need of another "vacation" when I get back. I need to be careful to keep myself calm and not get swept up in the chaos. I am Main of Honor and my duty is to make sure that the bride (and I) stay sane!
Andy and I have a special vacation in September that I am super stoked about. It will be nice to be able to get away just the two of us. It will be the first trip we have taken where Andy's dad didn't go with. Out of the country anyway. :) We really need this time. We just celebrated our 6 year anniversary June 12th. Even though Atlas was sick, we celebrated at home and it sounds funny, but it was just what we needed. I am usually really preoccupied with Atlas, Andy from work and running and working in the yard. We set aside Monday nights a while ago as our date night. But that lasted about a month. (Until Bachelorette started anyway.) We had fun and laughed a lot. Its nice to know after 6 years, we still really get a kick out of each other. Trying to keep past hurts and offenses aside, just for a day felt great. Being married 6 years means 6 years of love, pain, laughter, loss and so much more. It is hard not to carry that with you. Andy is better about forgiving and forgetting than I am. Something I need to work on. Even though he can drive me absolutely bonkers, I still love him very much and love his heart. He's a great dad. And he gets as much joy out of the little things Atlas does as I do.
Until next time,
Tracey
I am really looking forward to my trip to Colorado next month. Not only do I get to help one of my dearest longtime best friends get married, I get a vacation!!! One packed with wedding hysteria! But a vacation from the mundane all the same. I am looking forward to some time in a hotel, with roomies of course, but still! And getting to see my second family! I haven't seem many of them for going on 9 years! One of the things I miss is being able to pick up and go anytime I want without wondering about eating schedules, nap time and bedtime. It will be nice to have that freedom. SO thankful for Tiffany Powell who will be watching Atlas the week I am gone. It makes this trip much more enjoyable knowing that someone who I TRUST is watching him. I know he is in good hands. :) I have a feeling I will be in need of another "vacation" when I get back. I need to be careful to keep myself calm and not get swept up in the chaos. I am Main of Honor and my duty is to make sure that the bride (and I) stay sane!
Andy and I have a special vacation in September that I am super stoked about. It will be nice to be able to get away just the two of us. It will be the first trip we have taken where Andy's dad didn't go with. Out of the country anyway. :) We really need this time. We just celebrated our 6 year anniversary June 12th. Even though Atlas was sick, we celebrated at home and it sounds funny, but it was just what we needed. I am usually really preoccupied with Atlas, Andy from work and running and working in the yard. We set aside Monday nights a while ago as our date night. But that lasted about a month. (Until Bachelorette started anyway.) We had fun and laughed a lot. Its nice to know after 6 years, we still really get a kick out of each other. Trying to keep past hurts and offenses aside, just for a day felt great. Being married 6 years means 6 years of love, pain, laughter, loss and so much more. It is hard not to carry that with you. Andy is better about forgiving and forgetting than I am. Something I need to work on. Even though he can drive me absolutely bonkers, I still love him very much and love his heart. He's a great dad. And he gets as much joy out of the little things Atlas does as I do.
Until next time,
Tracey
Friday, June 11, 2010
Here we go
Ok! I am so excited! We'll see how long I can go before I get pulled away by my son. I have been feeling for a while like I needed a new hobby, an outlet or something! I love being a mommy, and at the same time, I am excited to have a place to put down my thoughts and feel like this is just mine! Something I am doing just for me. :) It is so hard when you are the mom of a two year old to still feel like there is some of the old you still in there. Most days I look in the mirror and don't recognize who I see staring back at me. The girl I see looks tired, hair a mess and still in the pajamas she wore the day before. I don't FEEL like the way I look most days. Well, maybe some days. Haha!
The journey through motherhood has been full of unexpected joys and more sleepless nights than I can count. What I would love to get from this is more of a sense of who I am when I am not being mommy. Just me. Even as I sit here now, I am wondering who I am anymore, it is so easy to get suffocated by your routine and the demands that family life can put on you. I am learning that time for yourself doesn't just happen, you have to make it.
That is all I have time for right now, but I look forward to writing again soon!
~Tracey
The journey through motherhood has been full of unexpected joys and more sleepless nights than I can count. What I would love to get from this is more of a sense of who I am when I am not being mommy. Just me. Even as I sit here now, I am wondering who I am anymore, it is so easy to get suffocated by your routine and the demands that family life can put on you. I am learning that time for yourself doesn't just happen, you have to make it.
That is all I have time for right now, but I look forward to writing again soon!
~Tracey
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